Why Highly Sensitive People Aren’t “Too Much”—They’re Too Anxious, and No One Notices | Therapist in CT Explains
People have described you as “too emotional, an overthinker.” Often telling you to “Snap out of it. Why make things more complicated!” What if something isn’t “wrong with you” and that your hypersensitivity is how you just process information, not a character defect.
As a psychodynamic therapist in CT, I often work with highly sensitive adults who’ve spent years believing they’re broken and a problem. The truth is more complex. Your heightened sensitivity increases your anxiety, making it harder to break free from shame and heal from the painful labels you’ve carried.
What It Really Means to Be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
HSP or highly sensitive people is not an official diagnosis but a temperamental style of people who have a different way of processing information and feelings. Some of the common characteristics include their
Depth of Processing:
HSPs process information more deeply and reflectively. They often think thoroughly before acting and notice subtle details.Overstimulation:
Due to their heightened sensitivity, HSPs become easily overstimulated in busy, loud, or chaotic environments often making them more anxious and overwhelmed.Emotional Responsiveness / Empathy
HSPs feel emotions strongly, both their own and others’. They are highly empathic, responsive to others’ moods and surroundingsSensitivity to Subtleties
They notice small changes in their environment due to their heightened 5 senses.
HSP is not a defect or disability but can be a superpower to empathy and deeper connection but if there are no clear boundaries or understanding of this inclination, it leads one to severe anxiety.
Why HSPs Are More Vulnerable to Anxiety
Because of how deeply HSP process stimuli, they are prone to developing anxiety. They are more vulnerable to anticipating something due to their hyperawareness of others’ moods and situations. Due to their hypersensitivity, HSP struggles with a lot of anxiety, overthinking, and doubt. They then turn inward blaming themselves for being so sensitive and not having a thick skin. This creates a perpetual cycle of anxiety and negative self-talk.
Signs You’re an HSP Living with Hidden Anxiety
Here are some common signs you might be an HSP
Emotional exhaustion: You feel so drained after a party or social interaction, needing to be left alone to recharge and process what happened.
Guilt after saying “no”/people pleasing: You feel bad or guilty due to the increased empathy to say no to others especially knowing they’re in need of your support and help.
Sleep disruptions: You overthink about random daily interactions and even what happened years ago and wonder what happened, why it did, and what you could have done differently.
Quick to startle: Loud environments are stressful for you and you’re prone to getting nervous and uneasy making it hard to focus and enjoy the moment.
Deep empathy: You are so perceptive at people's emotions and are adept at reading between the lines and subtext. You intuit what others are feeling without them using words.
Heightened self-awareness : You are more self-conscious of how relate to yourself and others, which can be a strength and a weakness.
Masking or hiding true feelings: You avoid being “too much” due to history of being told you’re too much, you begin to internalize that as negative often leading you to hide your true self and pretend that you’re not emotional or sensitive.
How Psychodynamic Therapy Helps Uncover the Roots of Anxiety in HSP
Exploring early emotional patterns, unconscious fears, and internalized beliefs helps Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) trace their anxiety back to its roots—rather than just managing symptoms on the surface.
Because HSPs are wired to feel and process deeply, they often absorb the emotional atmosphere around them from a young age. If they grew up in environments where their sensitivity was misunderstood, dismissed, or shamed, they may have developed unconscious fears—like the fear of being "too much," "a burden," or "not enough." These early experiences often shape internalized beliefs such as:
"I have to keep everyone happy to feel safe."
"If I express my feelings, I’ll be rejected."
"It’s dangerous to take up space or have needs."
By uncovering these these deeper layers in therapy, HSPs can begin to connect the dots: Their present-day anxiety isn't random—it's the result of adaptations to environments that didn’t honor their sensitivity.
Understanding these origins allows HSPs to:
Recognize when they’re reacting to the past rather than the present
Let go of the old stories and labels society put on them
Define new, more empowered adjectives to you
Respond to life with more choice, clarity, and self-trust
This kind of insight-oriented work, especially through psychodynamic therapy, helps HSPs move from feeling ruled by their anxiety to feeling rooted in self-awareness and freedom.
From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust: The Power of Insight-Oriented Work
Finding a therapist in CT who practices psychodynamic therapy gives you the space to finally release the weight of old shame and insecurity. You begin to unlearn the idea that you’re “too much,” “broken,” or somehow “the problem”. Instead, you come to recognize that your sensitivity, emotional depth, and self-awareness are not flaws—they’re gifts waiting to be reclaimed.
While insight alone isn’t the endpoint, it’s a powerful beginning. It helps you understand where these beliefs came from, so you no longer have to live as if they define you. You start to make choices from a place of self-trust rather than self-protection—and that’s where real healing begins.Share how working with a therapist in CT using psychodynamic therapy helps clients build a grounded, realistic sense of self, rather than defaulting to shame.
